A Decade On.....

Why start a blog?? I don't know, today is a pretty important day to me and apart from getting a tattoo this was the only thing last minute I could think of doing. And the fact I faint at the sight of needles probably not my best idea...

Why is today so important? 10 years ago today my life was turned upside down.

This is the only date I ever remember from this time, but I know every single second of what happened that day. It was Friday the 13th 2004, and I was goofy, gangly, normal (well I bet most people actually thought of me as anything but normal -  weirdo) fifteen year old girl at Ripley St Thomas C of E High School; and that day was a normal day, apart from the fact that I had a hospital appointment straight after school. The appointment was for a little egg sized lump I had on my left forearm, as far as I was concerned nothing to worry about.

At 3:05 the school bell rang, we said grace, then made my way to room 12 to meet molly and walk into town. The funniest part of this day happend here. I can't remember who exactly was there apart from Molly and Miss Hanley. " Ha its probably cancer lucie " was the comment made " ha yeh good luck getting a scan on Friday the 13th " to which Miss Hanley told us not to joke about things that serious.

How ironic!!

Half an hour later I was lying on a hard bed in  a dark room, with my mum and a Dr, sat beside me scanning my arm. I remember I wasn't looking at the screen, I was watching my mums face, thats the first time I knew I had cancer. I don't know why I just remember thinking "yeah this is serious and I know its cancer".  At this point I didn't even know you could get cancer in your arm let alone at my age, but I just knew I had.

We left the hospital with the promise we would get the results in 7-10 days. On the drive home mums phone rang, it was the GP, we needed to go down to the surgery immediately.

To be honest all the rest is pretty boring, a lot of talking, planing and ifs and buts, I just wanted to share those couple of hours, as they changed my life.

So if you know me you know what happen next, but if you've randomly come across my blog then this is for you.

suck in a breath and speak very fast...

- I was diagnosed with a Ewings sarcoma (rare type of bone cancer), I had a year of treatment including Chemotherapy, Radiotherapy and Surgery; where they removed the bone, irradiated it, then put the bone back in and screwed it back together with titanium plates ( I consider David Guetta song personally about myself ). I had to leave school for a year, I lost my hair, I went super skinny then super bloated when they put me on steroids.

... and breath

10 years ago 

( only picture I ever took with no hair )

So why the blog name? Its a bit of an odd, arty farty reason to be honest. Since all of the above, my outlook on life is my most prized philosophy. I've loved every minute of every day. I don't just enjoy the amazing adventures and opportunities I am luckily enough to have had; I call these my HD moments. 

I quite simply love being alive, even the boring grey bits of daily life, I find these the most beautiful moments. My favourite of all food shopping, seriously I live to food shop, especially the baking isle!

Today has been a lot stranger than I thought, a lot of people I know, celebrate every date, "cancerversary" " first chemo date" "end of treatment date" I couldn't tell you any of those dates.

But today I feel free, I can't really explain it. 

Right so thats my first ever blog :) So what to expect from this??? I have no idea, its going to be my thoughts, so that could be anything.  

Now

( oh and btw I am completely dyslexic so I apologise in advanced for this post and future ones )